My suggestion davemike would be that since you've managed to tolerate it thus far, give it a little more time. I'm assuming this behavior is related to a period of severe depression and it might be necessary to allow the meds some time to help move him to a state where he can share your concerns.
If you feel you absolutely must address the issue, maybe focus on just one behavior and offer gentle encouragement. Try to avoid presenting your concerns as a criticism but rather as a concern for him. Meantime, here's an account from someone else who went through a similar phase and seems to have come out of it. Some of the comments might offer some additional insight for you...
Quote:
Personal Hygiene...
To illustrate the debilitating effects of depression I thought I would talk about a daily ritual that most people do without giving much thought…and I think if people who are dealing with depression have a hard time discussing depression, in general, because of the “stigma” and the “embarrassment” associated with it…then this is going to take it to the next level…
I am talking about personal hygiene…yes… the assumed daily ritual that most normal people do without giving much thought to…well, when you are depressed, life is anything but normal… and to illustrate this point I think a study of contrasts would best be employed…and again I am going to really put myself out there…for a bigger cause…
If you knew me at all during my adult life you would know me as someone who took really good care of himself…I would exercise, eat right and was very particular about my hygiene and personal appearance. The term meterosexual was very apropos , if you are not familiar with the term it has nothing to do with sexual orientation but rather someone’s personal aesthetic sense. I mean, I was a guy that was very comfortable with himself and was very familiar with the T-zone, facial moisturizers and even mattifiers for my oily forehead (although I must give most of the credit to an old girlfriend who introduced me to a lot of those type of products)…but I digress.
Over the years when I would get depressed I would go a day or two without showering as I moped around the house on the weekend. Well, over the last year as my depressive lows have gotten lower and lower my interest in personal hygiene became less and less. The two worst episodes were this last summer and more recently over the Christmas holiday. Over the summer…and I am having a hard time even writing this because it is so embarrasing…but I went 13 days without a shower…can you believe it!!! And the only reason I took a shower on the 13th day was that I didn’t want it to go to the 2 week mark…I didn't want to be known as the guy that went 2 weeks without a shower...I guess even when you are truly depressed you gotta have some standards?!? I would still brush my teeth 2 to 3 times per day but other than that…no interest.
And during that two week period I was going to an outpatient support group for men with depression 3 times per week…I was surprised no one said anything…not that it would have mattered…I suspect that they knew that. Most recently, I went 7 days without a shower. It’s like if you don’t have a reason to get up and shower you really don’t want to nor do you have the energy to spend on such a task.
I hope this helps put depression in perspective for those that have loved ones who are dealing with depression and with trying to function on a daily basis and offers some comfort to those who are dealing with depression themselves and lets them know they are not alone.
I would really be interested in hearing from others who have had similar experiences...
Source: Personal Hygiene
|