thank you so very,very much elysium for responding so quickly. this abuse has been going on and off for close to 4 years now and it hasnt been until just recently we realized how bad it was and although it is absolutely not sexual in nature at all it is abuse nonetheless. maybe we can pm you part of our experience and see what you think tomorrow? tonight we are still overly distraught and teetering on the edge to say anymore. thanks so much again you have no idea how much this means