I would highly recommend calling a suicide prevention hotline. I called one when I was actually suicidal and they told me to call back even if I just needed someone to talk to. It's confidential and staffed by people who are trained, although not usually actual therapists. But just being able to talk to someone compassionate outside the situation with out fear may be helpful.

Also, do you have family or friends who can support you? It must be very scary for you right now, but withdrawing is probably the worst thing you can do. Not only is it good for you personally to reach out for support, if you are talking to people, they will honestly be able to say that you are dealing with any issues you have in healthy ways.

And I know it probably sound impossible, but try not to obsess over the whole CPS thing. It won't help anything and could easily make everything worse. Throw yourself into taking care of yourself and your precious daughter in healthy ways. When the thoughts and fears start creeping in, tell yourself that you are going to prove them wrong by being a wonderful, healthy mom for your daughter. And try not to let the fact that they came into your home and pushed all your buttons make you doubt yourself as a mother. I have 5 kids myself and I promise you that if you care enough to worry about whether you are a good mom or not, you are almost certainly a good mom.

Congratulations on your daughter's arrival. I'll say an extra prayer for you and your baby tonight!