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tulip1122
Junior Member
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Member Since: Jun 2011
Posts: 8
10 yr Member
Crazy Jun 18, 2011 at 01:08 PM
 
I realize that this is a little like asking a bunch of kleptomaniacs how I can stop stealing, but I need to just get this off my chest after years of keeping it to myself...

I have a fetish that I am ashamed to admit and have never told anyone about. Basically, it's urophilia and urophagia (golden showers, etc.) and I can't really reach orgasm without thinking about it. This is extra disconcerting for me because I am a female and I am a lesbian. It seems like most people with fetishes are usually men and if I was straight, it wouldn't be so difficult to find a man who is also into it.

I have found sex unsatisfying because I can't reach orgasm (which I don't blame entirely on my fetish -- it's also the pressures and discomfort that can come with intimacy). When I masturbate, it's 90% of what I think about. Once in a while I'll try not to think about it, but I always give in. I can enjoy stimulation without the thought, but it becomes so much better when I think about it. As for sex, I really try to avoid being stimulated and do everything to my partner to avoid the awkwardness of being unable to come from simple oral, for instance.

What do I do about this? Is there a way to lessen the need for this fetish to get off? Do I need to find a partner who shares my interests? Or should I keep it to myself and learn to think about it during sex (which I find difficult to do). I want to be able to enjoy intimacy and one day orgasm from sex. I feel like this fetish is weird/gross of me and degrading to women, but I can't help it. I can try to think back to where I think this originated, but it frankly doesn't matter. It worries me when I think about finding my true love and either a) she thinks I'm a freak or b) I hide it and have an unsatisfying sex life forever. Some advice would be nice. Thank you.
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