My doggies have saved my life. They are like my children and I LIVE for them. Every day we walk in the park and around our neighborhood. If it wasn't for them I would probably never leave my house.

It just gets old re-living the same day every single day. On top of the BS at work, my parents are constantly fighting. It's really awful. Even though my mom beat the cancer she has lots of side effects because the radiation affected her brain. So she's dizzy and sick, which causes her to NOT be able to drive and be stuck in the house all day, which after 8 months has caused depression, which causes her to just blow up for every little thing and she treats my dad terribly. He came over to my house yesterday and said "you have no idea what I deal with at home..." He's depressed because of it too.

I just feel like I have nothing to look forward to. I hate my job, have to deal with my parents fighting, have no friends or any social life, no pleasure or enjoyment, and am struggling physically & financially to live in my house alone. All I think about is how eventually my dogs are going to die, my parents are going to die, and then I'm really gonna be screwed. I have to force myself to NOT think about those things or I could throw myself into a panic attack.

I'm so desperate to try and make new friends but it's just a vicious circle. Can't go out because I have no money and nobody to go out with... but can't meet anyone because I can't go out.

I've tried the online thing but there are WAY too many creeps out there. I've done it a few times and each one was a disaster. Plus at this age the pickins are slim... How many single 40 year old men are out there? Not many.

Sigh... thanks for listening. This is the only place I can vent where people understand and don't complain about me venting!