Quote:
Originally Posted by dandelionfalls
Thanks for posting this. While reading it I was trying to pin point a distorted way of thinking that I get caught up in at times. It's like a "hang up" and is related to traumatic events that happened to me. So the issue is gender, like when women are objectified, I get very anxious. So I have this whole ideology built around defending the anxiety I feel about it. I think it may be related to my trauma, it's like that's how I defend myself against it.
I shared that so ask this:
What might be a distorted way of thinking be that is an ideological construct that works as a defense mechanism? (this is distressing for me because I don't want to think so rigidly and don't think rigidly in other areas or about other issues)
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Since Burns there have been a few more added:
Reward Fallacy -You expect all your sacrifices and self-denial to be rewarded. You feel bitter if good deeds are not reciprocated. You may always be doing the right thing but your heart`s not in it. God/ the universe is not keeping score! And you are physically and emotionally draining yourself.
Being Right- . You feel the need to prove that your opinions /actions are correct. You can`t stand being wrong and you will go to any lengths to prove your `rightness`. This can make you hard of hearing as you are not interested in the possible truth of a different opinion. Your need to be right trumps your having an honest and caring relationship.
Global Labeling - You generalize one or two qualities in yourself and others into a sweeping negative global judgement despite evidence to the contrary. This makes for a one-dimensional world view.
Labeling yourself can injure your self esteem and stereo-typing others leads to snap-judgements, prejudice and relationship issues.
Fallacy of Change- You feel people will change to suit you, if you pressure or cajole them enough. Your need to change people is anchored in the mistaken belief that your happiness depends solely on them. The reality is that the only hope you have of changing anyone is you! Your happiness, you believe depends on the actions of others when in fact, it depends on the zillions of choices you make daily.
Fallacy of Fairness - According to our rules we have the expectation the world will play fair. And then disappointment sets in or deep resentment when others fail to live up to our expectations. While morality is based on ethical principles, for some people, it is situational.( ie Thou shalt not kill but it`s perfectly reasonable on a battle field...)
If you cannot let go of unfair situations, you may wind up consumed with resentment, leaving you very bitter. You may even believe that other people`s ignoring of `your rules`of fairness, is a personal affront to you. This stance will only leave you spinning your wheels for a long time.
I think many of us wrestle with that last one-I know I do!