Hey Jennifer, I feel like I'm reading my own diary when I read your post... I recently turned about the same age too and started to have overwhelming feelings of failure, anxiety, and the focus turned to my body. I feel like I should be farther in life, more successful... Is that how you feel? I think these are very normal feelings for us 30-ish yr old women. I'm not going to tell you that it doesn't matter what you look like or weigh, because I know it bugs me when people tell me that. Have you tried medication for the anxiety and emotions? They are probably a lot safer than purging.
I have found that since I started coming to the ED forum, I don't need to purge anymore. I can just purge my feelings in the forum, and reading other people's stories helps.