I know many straight men and women that go to gay/lesbian bars for the shows. it doesnt mean the guys or gals are that way it just means they enjoy watching shows that contain guys dressing up as ladies and shows where ladies dress up as guys. theres even a few movies out that are based on guys or gals dressing up as the oposite gender....mrs doubtfire, tootsie...and many others..

some people just enjoy the comedic entertainment of such things.

my opinion is if this guy really is homophobic they would not go to gay bars.

when anyone is exposed to their phobia's (fear of spiders, fear of snakes, fear of going outside and yes fear of gays or lesbians) they can not stay with in contact of what they fear for any real length of time, with out feeling mental and physical panic reactions, such as anxiety, blood pressure increases, for some people they have trouble breathing and some people literally pass out with in a very short time of being near their phobia.

if this was me I wouldnt take it personally. I dont like baseball but my wife enjoys going to games where the guys are dressed up and playing baseball. my wife has not met one of my close relatives and refuses to met that person because she's heard this lady does not as the relative says "buy in to this lesbian thing" I dont take this personally either, and I dont force the issue. everyone is entitled to having their own opinions / and beliefs. I wouldnt serve up apple pie to someone who doesnt like apple pie and say here eat it because I like it and want you too. my wife and this relative not meeting is the same thing to me. my wife has no wish to meet this relative right now and its her choice who she likes or doesnt like, its her choice who she hangs out with and who she doesnt and its her choice who she wants to be around and who she doesnt.

when situations arise where this close relative and I are getting together I let my wife know and extend the offer to join us. then my wife can make her own decision of whether she wants to join us or make other plans while Im busy with the close relative.

Someday they may want to meet and get to know each other but for my wife and this close relative now is not the time. I accept that and go on with my life.