I have always been a very highly sexed woman and enjoyed my sexlife. I masturbate frequently, and have no guilty feelings afterwards or feel dirty. I love to know when my o/o bf is w*nking and he usually sends me a text graphicly describing what he's thinking about doing to me. We have amazing real life sex but it's now been over a year, as I've not seen him. He too is highly sexed and I know misses real sex. Fortunately he's not gone elsewhere.
I really want to get better, smarten up myself ( hair do ) and see him again. We've made a date for this Saturday, hopefully I won't back out , yet again. It won't be easy, as I've been in bed for a year, unable to function due to depression.
Whilst my depression has depleted my sex drive, as in I feel and look a mess, I do still masturbate albeit less often than before. I'm worried that when I do get medical help with my d. my sex drive will vanish. I don't want to lose it. Jeez, one of my last remaining pleasures in life !

I have noticed with me, it's a case of 'use it or lose it'. If I go a few days without masturbating, my desire decreases. When I do mbt I get hugely turned on, massively, to the point I ache to c*m. I get immensely aroused by our telephone sex or texting. When my bf sends me videos of himself, the porn he's looking at, knowing what he's doing, excites me hugely. I love him telling me what he's doing and the porn that excites him is a huge turn on for me. I love him looking at porn, and he sends me pictures, I don't have any issues with that or us sharing our fantasies. They are pretty tame fantasies, but they are not to everyone's taste, but hey, it's between me and him. My point here is, I don't feel guilty or dirty.

Now the problem : I have noticed recently that once I've orgasmed through masturbation I INSTANTLY lose all desire, to the point of coldness towards any sexual thought. It vanishes, completely, dead. I don't remember this happening before, when I was having sex. It is such a huge come down, from being hugely excited and turned on. Shouldn't there be a hint of sexual feeling, and the after glow ? I know it's not the same as sex, but with the direct clitoral stimulation of mtb, the orgasm is very strong. I just hate the numb, ' oh well, that's the end of that ' feeling.
It's not the lack of cuddling afterwards either, I don't think, as my bf is a very hot bod, and after sex needs to cool down, so we don't neccesarily stay wrapped in each others arms straight away.
I used to be multi orgasmic, I can't imagine that now.
I know men have a refractionary period after sex, but what about women ?
After an Orgasm now, I could quite happily do a crossword or something.

Is all this normal for women ? Is it just because at the moment I'm not having real sex ?

I love sex, and masturbating and feeling sexy, and should add I can orgasm very quickly, but usually like to prolong the build up. I just don't like the anti-climax of the climax !

Does anyone have any suggestions, as to, how to hang on to the arousal, and enjoy the feeling after orgasm as well as before ?
Maybe not so I can go on and have another, but just not to feel so instantly turned off.
Another worry would be when my sex life resumes, if I climax before my partner, how would I continue to have sex ? This has never happened to me as we're both well matched, but it has now crossed my mind, since noticing this lack of feeling after an orgasm.

Sorry if this was too long.

I'd welcome your thoughts and any suggestions. Thank you.