Thought more about it...

So this particular church has abused you by violating your right to privacy. Your r/s with your bf and whether you sleep with him is your private life - the church should not have interfered. That you gave up your right to make your own decisions in regards to your personal relationships so easily just shows how susceptible you are to being abused.

You need to realize that all those guys and this church are just different characters in this long line of people/organizations that abuse us and make you feel ruined, dirty, used, humiliated, and ashamed. All of them. Without exception.

You are a very vulnerable person and you definitely need therapy and a break from belonging to a partner or to an organization. So I take it back about your looking for a husband on your own or choosing a church that would boost you. You do not need anything of that sort right now. Your intuition correctly tells you that you do not need a partner at present. You also do not need a church, just therapy.

After you have had some help from therapy, you can start choosing partners, denominations, friends, and all the rest of that. You need some framework built first.