Quote:
Originally Posted by Harley47
I hadn' considerd that.  How do you mean the church would like for you to find a husband? I had taken it to mean that they would simply like, at your pace, for you to find a good guy. I hadn't considered Hamster's implication.
Ji
Hamster does bring up a valid point that I had avoided, to an extent. I do think it is a little...well, it's none of their business what you do. A church is to advise and guide (imo)...not to pry. And I do agree with Hamster's assertion that it was, perhaps, a heck of a litmus test...but he failed that with flying colors. He should've understood your perspective (not necessary for him to agree, just try to understand), and he should've tried to communicate with you about it. His response was a massive failure on his part. (though not at all disagreeing with you HB...lol rather trying to mesh your point and mine  ).
My offer to contact my inbox stands at any time. |
thank you both. No, i poorly worded that part about find me a husband. Even as far as breaking up with bfriend the persons that supported me at church said they could not tell me
what to do. It's just that it's a big church and it's organized so if you want to meet somebody the activities are there. I do have a therapist. Yeah, i am vulnerable. I know this.
yeah it was an unusual situation with the stopping sex, but i don't feel very sympathetic to bfriend as he knew i was retraumatized having to see and report one abuser after 20 years when i found out she was working with deaf children
and after she may have been
responsible for my brother's death. That's a long story. Also, it wasn't unusual for bfriend. and i to go through long periods without sex whenever i was working through something, but it got worse when i asked him to do some sexual healing exercizes with me and he wouldn't. I was trying to be more intimate but he was unwilling to do the work with me. I gave him a book on how to support me and i'm pretty sure he never read it.