Sorry, the phone. So you do not give yourslef to him against your will which is an excellent development but the reason for it had nothing to do with YOU and everything to do with the church's ideology. So the good outcome is purely coincidental. Someone - some church, T, someone needs to focus on YOU and become outraged that for five years you went through an unnecessary self-sacrifice of having intimate relations against your will. Sure women are sometimes tired and may occasionally engage in quick sex just for the sake of the guy while they'd rather be sleeping. You did something else, on a grand scale.