Aw skip I understand that. Us kinksters change our minds a lot from what I've seen. Like I've gotten over being all submissive and have found I'm acting like more of a brat! For me I found it fun to be cheeky and disobey the rules... which felt wrong because I was always such a good sub. I guess we change every other aspect of our lives so it's only expected for our sexual side to as well. Your fetish has been a big part of your life for a while, it will take some adjustment but I'm sure you'll probably find a new fetish!
As for your orientation, it just takes some exploration and a little bit of fun to see what you want and don't. Many of us would be with a girl in a scene but otherwise are completely straight. So our fantasies about getting in some girl action involved doesn't mean we're not straight, itsjust a fantasy after all. That's my point of view though and possibly completely not helpful just give it some time and remember where we all are if you need a virtual hug and a pep talk!!
M