I want to want it too. I think it mostly is from my meds. What has helped me the most is actually my husband putting lube on himself and I rub a little **** desensitizations cream around my opening and just inside. It's really hard to get past the pain I have from sex, but if you negate the pain, I can at least enjoy bonding with him, even if I get basically no pleasure from the actual sex. I tend to get more of an after high when we take a shower together afterwards (our ritual, since I enjoy the attention afterwards and he enjoys the sex before).