I don't have advice, I wish I did. But I WILL say that I CAN wholeheartedly relate. I am going through very similar, and in order not to 'hijack' the thread, per se, I won't go into it, but I CAN relate.

I am sorry you are having to go through this. I can tell you that you aren't alone in your feelings...I only hope that you can find a solution...and some peace! (and if you find the magic key, let me know too )

But seriously, I am thinking of you today.