You cannot have it both ways, cut people off when they are giving you information about themselves and how they perceive you relating to them and yourself and then plug in what you want or do not want in that space instead. It causes a disconnect and an unnatural hybrid.

In this example it looks to me as if you are defining "aggressive" all by yourself and then changing your (only) definition, without benefit of knowing how the person you are relating with is thinking of "aggressive" or the role you have asked them to play for you. You gave the good massage comparison but then assumed its meaning for you was the same as its meaning for your therapist or did not like what you thought your therapist was going to say and then backed out of it so, in the end your therapist has no clue anymore where she is in the conversation because you have been working wholly from your head, not from your interaction with the other person.

I spent a year or more where my therapist had me repeat back what I had heard her say before I was allowed to move on to the next thought. I hated it, it felt rote and artificial but I had not been aware I was in my head and not listening to the other person and not aware the other person could not follow me because I was in my head. After all, I "heard" my thought and understood the progression, didn't everyone?

Yes, your therapy is all about you and your life stories but you are supposed to be letting another person into that loop to help you influence it and get new information. Instead, you are just picking and choosing what you want to take of the other person and incorporating it into what is already there, keeping the loop sealed, just adding to it, making it bigger.