Hi there.

I have 2 daughters aged 6 & 4.5 years old!
After my eldest was born about 9 months on I realised that I wasnt behaving like my normal self.
I went to the doctors & found out that I was pregnant again!
I put all the low feelings down to racing pregnancy hormones.
After my second daughter was born things got gradually worse but still i did not seek medical help I wanted to prove that I wasnt depressed & I could bring myself round out of this.

Its now 5 years on and my brain is in such a complete mess I am unable to make my own decisions or think for myself. I dont watch tv and havent done for about 4 years. I dont want to communicate with anyone outside my immediat family and if I do its via txt or email. I make untold excuses to my parents as to why I am unable to speak directly via the phone & I avoid being around people in general.
I dont go out very often as recent events make me think that everytime I am away from my husband something bad is going to happen, yet when my husband tells me things to watch out for with people I go and do exactly what I have been told to avoid and I keep these things to myself and lie to cover any wrongs I have done.

I have always thought of myself to be a very loyal person in a relationship, but recently I had an affair with my husbands friend only to find out that out so-called friend had started this affair with me in order to try and rob my husband of his inheritance!!!

My brain appears to no longer be working in common sense respects.

Is it possible that all these out of character behavior is a result of me being extremely depressed!

When people are depressed in general do they act thoughtlessly & recklessly towards the people who are s'posed to be the closest to them.

I just cant work myself out any more!

Please help me if you can