[quote=LizzieVale;3007094] I too have never cried and felt so much pain as i have during the past year. My former therapist has been de-registered from the medical board as another female patient reported him for doing the same as what he did to me. I've also had to submit my own reports of the event and the incidents which took place. I feel as though not only am I a victim of my former therapist's abuse but now I have to relive the entire sordid events which took place. All i want to do is forget about the past.

At the time that the sexual abuse was happening i never thought of myself as a victim of sexual abuse. It was a year later that I realised my therapist wasnt the caring a person that he had led me to believe he was. I placed all my trust in this man never even for one moment questioning his motives. He made me rely on him for my sense of self worth. He knew all the right things to say to me in order to make me feel good about myself. I needed him to make me feel good about myself and i still do. He never really taught me life coping skills, he merely told me what i wanted to hear.

Its only now that he no longer part of my life that i realise how much i had come to rely on him to make myself feel validated. He was like the father that i never had. As much as i hate him i still miss the way he made me feel. Today I just feel numb and empty and without any feelings....wish i could sleep forever...

OH MY. I relate. You are not alone. Thank God someone reported him. I know it's difficult, but I do believe that through facing the truth, healing can change from just being a word to being an experience. Don't forget, integrate. How can this unbelievable pain make your life better? Right? There is a way, I have to believe that there is a point to the pain.

...He made me rely on him as well. Apparently not unique for abusers, yet still hard for me to term it in that way. Sense of self worth, life coping skills - all of what you say, I am right there with you. The father you never had, how you miss him, more importantly......

How we will become stronger woman. That we will and can become more whole from this insidious pain. I need people like you, so you better stick around. We need each other, and together we learn what healing means.