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LizzieVale
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Member Since: Aug 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 119
10 yr Member
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Lightbulb May 09, 2013 at 09:12 PM
 
Thank you for all the feedback everyone.
Today I have come to a realisation that nothing in life is mearly black and white, there are shades of grey in every situation in our lives. You just need to be able to dissect the good parts from the bad parts. Hold onto the good parts and throw the bad bits out with the garbage. I could choose to come away from this experience feeling like a victim but i choose not to. We choose to do things in life because at the time its what we need. At that point of my life it was what i needed. I needed to know if i was a normal sexually functioning woman.

My husband and I had not been intimate for so many years due to his medical problem. I had to know for my own peace of mind if i was a "normal" woman. After spending years and years of worrying and douting myself it was a massive relief to discover that yes i am normal!!!!! My husband never told tell me that due to his surgery that he would have problems with maintaining an erection. It was only by chance that i found this was the case. For all those years my husband led me to believe that the sexual disfunction in our relationship was all my fault and that there was something wrong with me! I needed to know the truth! I needed to prove to myself whether my husband was right in blaming me for the lack of sex in our relationship. To my surprise I discovered that i was perfectly normal. OMG what a huge revelation that was to me. I needed to know the truth and it does not matter who provided me with that knowledge. The way I see things is that what would be worse? Having to live the rest of my life thinking and wondering if i was to blame for our sexual problems? Or would i prefer to know that it wasnt me and that I was perfectly normal woman? I know which i prefer even though it means going through some pain and heartache now. I now look at the pain and the confusion as a trade-off for what i ultimately needed to know.

Yes, Im having to deal with the fall-out of the situation but he too has to live with the consequences of his actions. He has been de-registered as ever being able to practice again and is looking at the possibilty of spending time in prison for his actions.

To summarise....at the end of the day we both got what we wanted.
I dont regret what i did for a moment. Im sure that some of you will judge me. Everyone is entitled to there own opinion. However unless you have walked in my shoe you cannot judge me..... In my heart of hearts I now know that what i did was right for me and am now finally at peace with myself and ready to heal and move forward in my life ....

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Thanks for this!
Zippo