I don't know what type of day, to call this one?! Is it really an anniversary date?

Either way, whatever the adjective may be, it's been 23 years.

I've been back, for the past 24 hours to the place where I broke my back. My tailbone, actually.

And, in the past 24 hours, I've literally have spun a metaphorical web, across the city of Boston. There are some detours, but my sense of direction has been quite unlike myself. And, in just taking it all in, here is my feeling on the matter.

When I broke my back, I must have lost my sense of purpose or direction. Looking back, after that back injury, two years later, I had lower back surgery on a polynomial cyst, that had developed, right where that spinal injury was. Could be coincidence or maybe it is not. When I had a spinal tap, a couple years ago, to test my O-bands for lesions, due to my illness, of MS...which is chronic illness of my central nervous system, where symptoms just come and go. I do have lesions there, as well, as my brain. Why else, would I, at 25 years old, develop an illness. Of course, the theories run rampant, but one of the first things, any neurologist will ask, Did you ever have a brain injury? Well, it does stand to reason, the spinal column could cause some type of injury. ((Most MSers, that I have interacted with through the years, tend to be the types of people that do more research on more illnesses than many of other people that I know))

So, there I was with a broken back. In physical pain.

Why would I be directionless? Because, at the same location, that I have been bringing my son to camp this weekend, is bringing back to life, all these reflections. I lost my sense of direction, when no one came, that night to bring me an ounce of medicine and TLC...tender, loving care.

As I drove home this morning. Taking this turn and that turn, all over the city, finally landing on the highway. Even the highway route, didn't look at all familiar. That university is precisely where I started seeing life differently.

A whole trip, across country, with the realization, that I was alone in life, at 15, how can a 15 year old possibly understand that? All alone, with a broken back? Yes, I'd been down the SH route, about 1.5 years prior, and on this day, I'd just about had enough!

That tarantula, as I decided to give sunbathing a shot, in the backyard in 110 degree heat, just for the sake of it. Doesn't the culture there, send their young warriors, out into the desert to find the message they are meant to find? Was the tarantula, my message?!

And, as I bring my son, to this very university, to play the sport that he loves, and I have captured with my camera, the biggest smiles of joy on his face than I have ever captured....

I feel, at ease with my past!!!