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Excursion4071
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Member Since: Jul 2013
Posts: 2
10 yr Member
Default Jul 23, 2013 at 10:43 PM
 
Gambling sucks...I always thought I was a well groomed educated young man with his head on his shoulders. I grew up with values, was very active in the community with friends and family, and always seemed to "live right" so to speak. Started gambling when a friend took me to a casino for the first time and I won $750 on a video poker machine. Amazing I thought, the onset grew and went downhill from there. I wasn't a fan really of little slot/machine games because I am an extrovert and like to associate with others. I introduced myself slowly to table games (ie. craps, blackjack, roulette) which allowed me to entertain myself with others feeling like a party of sorts. I was or felt like I was good at them too, although I had no control over the outcome of these games, solely because I would leave the casino with a couple hundred bucks by the end of the night. Once my mind developed this idea, all hope was lost. I got greedy without acknowledging what greed was and would go to win much more money because the little stuff wasn't enough. At one point, I was up $10k but still walked out of the casino that very night down $500, and even in doing so still would come back thereafter for more suffering. I sold things...golf clubs, instruments, watches to nearby pawnshops for a tenth of the original purchasing cost just to try and win back money I had blown the days when I were down (sickest feeling in the world.) I've stolen money numerous times, but justified it as borrowing because I KNEW I would make the money back and be able to replace it. Broke the heart of some close family members when they found out the path I was on, so I forced myself to stop. I thought I was better after going 5 months without gambling, but the urge came back and again I "borrowed" a great deal of money to feed into the urge that is slowly ruining my life. After hurting my family again, I have no choice but to find help in multiple facets, or I may end up in jail. It's crazy that I know I am doing wrong but the urge overpowers it. Any advice would be great as I don't want to ruin my life nor those around me anymore.
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