AppalachianAxis, I've never written on PC about this topic because it is so personal...but, you have given me the courage to try. I admire your honesty.

I've always had problems with sex but there was a short time I sorta enjoyed it--I still had my limits. Many years ago I started taking meds that completely eliminated my sex drive. As time progressed I began to feel repulsed by sex. Not too long ago I had a dream about a sexual activity and I woke up startled and completely grossed out. Any thoughts about sex make me feel unclean and I don't want to have anything to do with it.

I'm lucky--I've had a boyfriend for many years and he has been very understanding about my situation and feelings. Recently I changed my shirt in front of him and that seemed...well, okay. He has been patient with me and says he'll wait until I'm ready. By that he means any type of sexual activity--even if we never have sex he is willing to compromise and do whatever I feel comfortable with...he says baby steps. Changing my shirt in front of him was a little baby step.

I don't know if this writing has helped you any. Although our stories are a little different I can really relate to a lot of your feelings. I hope both of us can wrok things out as best as we possibly can.....take care....D.