Quote:
Originally Posted by Pandoren
I understand what you mean, AppalachianAxis... I'm an asexual (the official definition being someone who doesn't experience sexual attraction, not someone with no desire for sex, asexuals can still be sexually active) but I do have a libido; I find it aggravating to have something yelling at me I've no actual need for. (To clarify my position here, in essence, it is like food (if we borrow the current comparisons at hand!) where libido is like being hungry, a general feeling that says "you need to eat", but sexual attraction is like craving a particular food, or seeing a slice of cake and wanting it.)
So although I'm not in the same position as you of denying certain acts, because I have no desire to go and have sex with somebody so on that part it takes no effort at all, I can associate somewhat with unwanted sexual urges and the way they have a tendency not to go away, when you'd rather do something else with your day, like go shopping, do chores, or watch paint dry.
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Thanks for your reply!
You're exactly right, and I often find the defining aspect of living with sexual anorexia is that I so often feel like I would give anything to become an asexual myself, and finally be rid of this urge I never asked for.
I'm glad you made the food comparison. That's exactly what it's like. Only for me, the urge seems to just get stronger the longer I try to ignore, or "starve,"
it. Just like food anorexics I'll switch from trying my hardest to not engage in anything sexual at all to suddenly going on a "binge."
For me, this involves indulging in a lot of pornography, which only makes me feel worse in the end because it compounds my already potent self-loathing with shame and disgust at what I've gotten of to. And it's those very feelings that compel me to once again try to completely starve my sex drive to death.
It's a very very vicious cycle.