Hi Chloe and all,
I believe that there is a natural inclination to empathy in the human specie, some people have it more developed or pronounced. In my opinion, in addition to the impulse of helping others even when the other does not ask for help, there is a cognitive componente, I mean, these over-empathetic people immediately perceive other people needs, feelings, etc. This combo of emotions and information prompt them to act. Also, many times their behavior is reinforced by the environment (parents, etc). To me, to improve this feature we need to:
1) acknowledge empathy is a good personality trait and that it is something given to us
2) try to learn more about the mechanisms behind empathetic behaviors, in order to control them as much as possible, particularly in those occasions when we do things to naturally please others and the consequence is harmful to us or others
This is more complicated than being a people pleaser ( that also exists, but to me the last is more the result of the way we have been raised than something overly natural)
In the case of naturally over empathetic people they naturally read others and they are prompted to act to supply the others; this permeats the majority of their interactions. In cultures focused more on community than on individuals naturally over-empathetic people may feel more comfortable. Sorry my spelling. Will try to find literature about it