Forums at Psych Central - View Single Post - Links to Online Articles
View Single Post
Old 01-30-2014, 12:58 PM
Shadow13's Avatar
Shadow13 Shadow13 is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Jul 2013
Location: North east NJ
Posts: 47
Shadow13 Shadow13 is offline
Member
Shadow13's Avatar
Shadow13 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2013
Location: North east NJ
Posts: 47

5 yr Member
Default Re: Links to Online Articles

Quote:
Originally Posted by mennayriu View Post
WOW. Thank you for posting that.

TRIGGER WARNING

"In his seminal essay, "Understanding the Batterer in Visitation and Custody Disputes", Lundy Bancroft sums up the asymmetry in favor of the offender: "Batterers ... adopt the role of a hurt, sensitive man who doesn't understand how things got so bad and just wants to work it all out 'for the good of the children.' He may cry ... and use language that demonstrates considerable insight into his own feelings. He is likely to be skilled at explaining how other people have turned the victim against him, and how she is denying him access to the children as a form of revenge ... He commonly accuses her of having mental health problems, and may state that her family and friends agree with him ... that she is hysterical and that she is promiscuous. The abuser tends to be comfortable lying, having years of practice, and so can sound believable when making baseless statements. The abuser benefits ... when professionals believe that they can "just tell" who is lying and who is telling the truth, and so fail to adequately investigate.
Because of the effects of trauma, the victim of battering will often seem hostile, disjointed, and agitated, while the abuser appears friendly, articulate, and calm. Evaluators are thus tempted to conclude that the victim is the source of the problems in the relationship."


I cannot even begin to say how completely accurate this statement is concerning what my ex is doing to me AND his other child's mother.

This post gutted me. I saw the trigger warning, decided to read it anyway. But I thank you for posting it, it validates my experiences.

Sent from my SM-N900V using Tapatalk
__________________
'Tá brón orm go deo deo i mo chroí'
Shadow13 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says: