A spiritual mentor once told me that seeking happiness was futile, because happi-ness comes from the same root word as happenstance. It makes our feeling dependent on having outer circumstances go our way -- and we have no control over them.

She suggested that joy is what we are really seeking. Being a woman of faith, she believes that joy wells up from our oneness with . . . well, each of us must fill in that blank according to our own beliefs.

Thus, I would rather have contentment than happiness. To me, happiness means that I am looking for my Other to be and do what I want him to. Contentment is empowering, because to me it represents inner peace.