Me again. I know you're all sick of hearing me whine about DBT and just think I'm being stubborn and wasting everyone's time. I want to mention that I am in absolutely no way trying to undermine anyone else's positive DBT experiences. I know that DBT has helped a lot of people and saved lives. I'm not trying to say that DBT sucks. I'm saying I don't get it but I want to/need to.

About two months ago, my group leader told me I was being too resistant and oppositional about the material. I would challenge basically everything I read. I then felt like he doesn't like me and I'm dragging down the whole group so I stopped challenging anything. I just read what he asks me to read and don't verbalize what I feel or think at all. I guess I've been finding it slightly less lame but not any less unhelpful (for me because I don't do well with putting anything into practice). I'm wondering if part of the problem is that he never assigns us homework? We just read the skills and then never relate it to our own lives.

I just hate it. I find it boring and a waste of time because the skills are easy to understand but impossible to apply because I can never remember what they are when I'm having a hard time. I don't want to go. I don't want to go all the way out there just to sit on my thoughts and watch the clock. I can read pieces of paper just fine on my own.