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Originally Posted by feralkittymom
While it's definitely true that the less you engage with the material, the less you'll get out of it, it also sounds like the group leader doesn't want to engage dissent. So where does that leave you? Quiet and resentful.
I'm surprised there isn't homework--like a workbook; I thought that was pretty standard with DBT.
The only thing I can think of would be to speak to him outside of the group meeting and tell him your perceptions. What suggestions would he have for overcoming your resistance? Ask him for specifics of how to apply these skills in your daily life. Give him examples of situations that are difficult for you and ask which skills you should use and how to do it. If he says something like, "well, you just have to decide to accept it" then you know he's not going to be very helpful to you.
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He copied pages out of the workbook but none of the worksheets. We just read the sheets down. Our homework last week was to "try using the half smile". Wtf does that even mean? How am I supposed to remember to do that in the moment? When is a moment to use it? He just said "when you're feeling anxious or upset". Well I range from feeling jittery to being so anxious I have sui thoughts and I range from my default melancholy mood to not wanting to exist. Where within that range do I use any of the skills?
I also have a hard time coming up with examples. I have flashbacks so I once asked what skill to use during a flashback. His response was "one of the distress tolerance ones". Okay. The half smile then? Can I just half smile myself through a flashback? No I can't. I don't remember the other skills because we just read them aloud and didn't do anything beyond that.