I am having a lot of trouble stopping what goes through my head from coming out of my mouth. Sometimes it works out ok, because what I think is hilarious to some, or I have a good point. But its not a good thing when I am angry, I tend to rant. I have never been abusive but I have said some really dumb things. I am so racked with shame today from the weekends rant to a workmate.

The guilt and shame is causing intrusive thoughts, and thoughts of needing to be punished. Which in turn is bringing on physical symptoms. I am now nauseous, shaking, feeling weak and just generally bad. I am ruminating and I keep getting the looping "I dont want to do this anymore" thought. I want to avoid work all together but I know I cant (and I wont).

I have apologised to the workmate and explained that I have trouble with what I say sometimes (it wasnt anything too bad, just things that now cause me embarrassment, and will cause more embarrassment when she tells anyone).

How do I deal with the guilt of having no brain filter? This is not the first time but the most recent and the part that is really bugging me today. I have brought it up with my pdocs and therapists before. But all have said it is a symptom and have not given me any techniques to help. I will bring it up with my new therapist this week but I am open to ideas as to how to control what comes out of my mouth while still being social.

When I try to control it, I just end up staying quiet and then people think there is something wrong, or I am being rude. Is there any other way to control it?

Thanks in advance.