Hi please dont make excuses for your husbands behavior, abuse is abuse whether it be physical or mental, I suffered in an abusive marriage/relationship for 28 years never got the courage to leave although I wanted to for many many years, he used to blame it on me say it was my fault, that I wasnt well (I have bipolar and borderline personality disorder)and that that was causing the problems, I see a psychotherapist I am in the UK so my doc prescribed 10 sessions that were free for me she really made me open my eyes see what was happening around me and that my disorders were not an excuse for abuse, I then see my husband for what he was, A controlling bully. One day out of nowhere I just told him enough was enough that I wasnt doing it anymore, any of it. That was 3 years ago I still am suffering from my disorders and am about to start a new course of psychotherapy but without a life of abuse.My new partner is understanding, patient, and willing to help me rather than abuse me.