I had a mixed bag childhood. I always had friends that were worse off, but no doubt, a childhood that left me with my own wounds, battle scarred up. I had a sui attempt as a teen, no hospital stay, but spoke volumes. Had my share of abuses, me the child as a weapon in a custody battle, lived with my dad until he moved in my stepmom, si, sui, then runaway. Kicked out to live with my mom and stepdad. Mind you, i was an honor role student and athlete too. Not that my story doesn't get more tragically challenging. I definitely harbored anger.
One thing I swore when my then husband and I started planning. ..or kept stating, I may not know what to do, but I certainly know what not to do.
Parenting begins...graced with an oldest as an infant who wasn't quite colicky, but his temperament exisisted since day 2. Literally. Had two more all in 3years 10months apart,between oldest to youngest. I like to read, ex doesn't. I like to research, ex doesn't. Before divorce, two years before making that decision, found a support group that promoted that so long as one parent is at least displaying healthy behavior, the children will stand a chance to learn and model that behavior. Learning on the fly, without the same page of other parent hasn't been easy. And I just know, to keep trying, be real with them as accept responsibility for my own shortcomings. With the distance of each day, between a healthy parent, or at least relatively healthy, and one who i can't say he doesn't try in his own way, it's just I'm not sure he sees counselors outside mandated anger management or his parole officer and he maybe went on his own to a couple meetings in a recovery program years back. He's not a monster or anything, he has his ways, I have mine. I don't doubt the kids know he cares. They are raised seeing limitations on both sides. I'm not sure about apologizing on their father's end, but if not an apology from me, at times, since I feel it can be a simplified overused expression, they get clarification as to where I stand. They are turning out ok. Their last district grading system is a difficult read, i suspect they are all honor roll probable. They aren't perfect themselves. It's going ok, considering what both myself and my ex endured in childhood.
As for my own parents. We made amends at varying stages, the kinds you'd mentioned not receiving. It helped.