Thanks, everyone.

Jane, I can't email the therapist, we don't have a system that would make this feasible. The NHS is very good in many ways but there is no contact outside the specific sessions.

I've been sent a leaflet about EMDR, which refers to PTSD quite specifically. And the therapist did say trauma and the events were definitely long ago. So I suppose it doesn't really matter what it's called anyway - what really matters is whether I can get to a state where I am coping again.

It's all so strange. And perhaps one of the hardest things - which was a trigger as well - is that several people I trusted and counted as friends have turned away from me, so I don't have the support I crave. Or acceptance. I know that there are people who do care about me, but most of them are at a distance. Does it sound stupid to say I just need people to be kind to me? I feel so idiotic...