Hi Vital, thanks for your insight . That's a really cool way of looking at it.

So, I agree with what you are saying. The actual underlying thing is to bring back the power/control back into your life (which leads to decision making).

I want to probe your mind a little further. Don't you think it has to do with the sensitivity of a person and their personality too? This is what I think happened in my life - I made a poor decision once or twice a few years ago. Now, I'm a sensitive/cautious type of person. I only have to screw something up once to know that I screwed up. What I want to know is, don't you perhaps think that because I screwed up once or twice when I made a decision or two in my life, that I unconsciously said to myself that I am rubbish at making decisions? And, as a result, I stopped making decisions and this resulted in depression, like you say? I find it is normally the more sensitive and cautious person that is prone to depression (try to find a thick-skinned, insensitive person somewhere who is not happy - they are all happy!).

I want to disagree with you a little bit. Your unconscious-decision hypothesis is spot on in my estimation, but I think there is more than one root cause that causes THAT. A few things that actually precede that.

I believe that something, which is not apparent yet, was removed from your life somewhere along the line and that allowed you to take control and make decisions again. I think the answer is TOXIC PEOPLE. Yes, there are people that fuel our depression for sure. My dad is one of them. But, funnily enough, it is the things he did in the past that drove this whole problem. You see, I agree totally with your hypothesis, because my dad was the kind of person that made decisions on my behalf. He is quite a narcissistic person I reckon. OK, he has cooled down now, but the damage is done to you as a child I think.

For a long time, I actually felt scared of making decisions, and I always tried to make a decision that would please others. I have improved a lot since then when I just decided one day SCREW that, I'm going to do what makes me happy. A lot of my depression has dissipated since. I have one or two decisions that still hang over my head because they are binding, but I'm determined to pay my dues to it and put it behind me.

Basically, the depression started going away when I began thinking about what I want. Why must everything revolve around other people? Sure, you can care about others, but they must live their own lives, not rob you of yours.

Another thing that I did was to be cool with who I am. Yes, I have autism, OCD, ADD, APD and the list goes on. But, I came to a point where I said, why is this wrong? It is wrong because other people are calling it wrong! They just assume there must be something "wrong" with me. I replaced the word wrong with "gifted" "extraordinary" "unique" or even "special". Yeah, I know, it's kind of being full of myself, and yes, after a life of being a yes-man to my father, it feels like I'm being bad, but maybe that's what I need to make me feel better about myself.

It's the definitions in your life that need to change. And, you empower yourself when YOU redefine them the way YOU like. It was a major boost for me the day I realized I had my own brain to follow and that you don't even need to call things what other people call them. In fact, I even think the word depression is wrong all together. I would actually call it emotional recession. I forgot, being autistic, the amazing gifts/talents I had. I told myself, there is no-one else who can do all of the things I do. I started with my work - I put a unique touch to everything I did, put my own stamp on it. Soon, the compliments from colleagues started pouring in.

The day I stopped speaking after other people and mindlessly rehashed all the jargon and speech they use in daily life, is the day I broke the back of my depression.

Basically, all I did was:

- Identify the toxic people who fuel my depression/lack of decision making - they are normally the control freaks in your life.

- Avoid these toxic people as much as possible. When they do get hold of you, do what they request, but put your stamp on whatever it is you do. It forces them to respect you and they'll even start allowing you to make decisions on their behalf. You'll soon see they're almost pathetic really, the way they try to control even the uncontrollable. Avoid them, because they feed on depressed people, depressed people are easy to control!

- Realize, that by screwing up one decision, it doesn't mean you suck at decision making. Because, when you think about it, not making a decision is still making a decision, so there's no avoiding it, ever. Best then to put your mark on it, and if you're gonna make a choice, you might as well make one that suits you best.

Thanks again, Vital, for your inspirational hypothesis, it is very unique and insightful .