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vital
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Member Since: Oct 2014
Location: Boston
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Default Oct 22, 2014 at 01:17 PM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChangingMyMind View Post
Ok, so I have been doing this since last night. I'm starting slow and trying to remember to do it but I have done it several times this morning. I find that it does indeed give me a sense of empowerment. As soon as I make a decision to do something, snap, then do it I feel accomplished. Granted I am doing little things like touch something I normally wouldn't or just snap before doing something I normally would, but even so it helps put things in perspective. I am definitely depressed and often think there is no way out and nothing I can do about my situation. I often feel powerless, hopeless, doomed, etc. But this small simple activity reminds me that I do still have power; I do still have control; I am not doomed.

I think the reason this helps me is because the act of making a decision, snapping, then doing it proves wrong many of the negative thoughts or over-generalizations/catastrophizing thoughts. For example, I may think "I have no choice but to stay in bed and live my life in agony". This is not true and making a decision to get up and shower then snapping before doing so reassures me that I do have a choice and I do not have to stay in bed all day. Then again, if I have to stay in bed for the moment that is ok, then I can say "That's fine, body, I'll listen and stay in bed, but I'm going to decide to do meditation", snap, and it's done. So, even though my body will not cooperate with me right now, I can still make some decisions and life is not completely hopeless.

Note: My depression is very physical in how it manifests. So, I feel ok emotionally, I just have body pains/aches, GI issues, joint pain, etc that keeps me limited in what I can do. So, making decisions to do what I want to do and pushing my body sometimes is necessary and this helps me do that.

Not saying this will cure me, I do not have any grand expectations but it is a good tool to use to help remind yourself you still have control even if life is not perfect right now and that life can still be lived in some fashion.
I'm so glad its starting to work for you :-). I really recognize that feeling of power you're getting. As long as you're enjoying it, keep going! I think you will find many more benefits to come.

I find that this stuff has major physical manifestations too. Now I find that if I just sit quietly doing nothing, I have a growing feeling of vitality and energy that I never had before. I feel like being depressed was a constant, constant drain. I could never really relax, even when I wasn't being actively tormented by bad thoughts and feelings.

My depression didn't manifest so much as body aches and GI problems as you describe it, so I really don't know what's going to happen for that. I'm looking forward to hearing about it if you're going to post it though. Maybe your new vitality will help solve your physical problems in other ways? I always think it's a good idea to find a good MD and have an active relationship with him/her and to actively try to understand your own problems. I was exercising and having a good diet and taking supplements before snapping, and I'm doing it even more now. I think that depressed people often have physical problems that they just suffer with for long periods of time just because they are in the depressed mode of unconscious immediate pain avoidance and being unable to decide to act.

Last edited by vital; Oct 22, 2014 at 02:15 PM..
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