I'm looking into possible counseling for post partum depression. I'm not really sure if it is post partum or if it's just a combination of my current circumstances, relationship stress, my past hurts that never healed..or simply my not working that's contributing to my thoughts getting out of control.. or all of the above. I am very critical of everything and everyone, have mood swings, and just don't care about anything some days. Some days I can feel mediocre, and yet everyone keeps asking if i'm ok because i look sad. I don't feel I have control over it because some days it literally feels like a heavy weight..while other days I can feel normal if I keep myself busy. Yet as soon as I am still, try to meditate, go to sleep... my thoughts are always racing! and i dont know how to shut them up. its stressing me out more and more, straining my relationship that has enough issues on its own..

Looking for ways to try to find a path back to peace. I try to keep myself busy as much as possible , but that only goes so far. People have suggested journaling, exercising more, just decide to be happy and focus on positive things, tell my thoughts to be quiet, counseling...

im not even sure it is post partum..maybe its just a lack of self esteem or confidence with everything i have going on thats out of my control.. who knows?

Any insight would be helpful