I felt the same way but my therapist clarified that I was depressed because I told her how bad I felt. I have a roof over my head, food on the table, friends, etc. so I thought I shouldn't be allowed to be depressed. It's basically fighting with yourself and it gets confusing and irritating. I totally get you. I am happy right now but can feel like **** a few hours later. I'm getting medication soon this week for depression for the first time. Keep in touch . Good luck.