Hello, I am a 24 year old black bisexual male and I need some advice. I've been encountering casual homophobia at work, and among my family. Some people at work whisper about how they believe gays are obviously possessed by demons, and should have "God's wrath" visited upon them. I feel like saying something, but I don't want to out myself. I talked to management about it, but while they tried to be somewhat empathetic it seemed they didn't really understand what I was going through. I tried suggesting they have a meeting with the staff to discuss how people talk about different minorities, but they said that beyond explicit threats they can't "police" what their employees say. Never mind that that is not what I meant at all. It made me feel like I shouldn't have said anything at all.

As far as my family goes, I just don't know what to say. I live in my aunt's house with my cousin and her husband(who is like a big brother to me.) They were the first people I came out to, and they seemed okay with it. But they still say a lot of homophobic jokes and things. Like we'll be watching a show, and if a gay character comes on the screen they're automatically the f****t character. Right with me sitting there too. Not to mention how when I came out to the husband he asked me if I had ever been "****ed or been ****ed by a dude". I didn't think much of it at the time, but I have to wonder if he was sighing with relief when I told him no(I'm still a virgin, in fact.) I also remember him telling me and my cousin about a male co-worker who's pretty sassy and flamboyant. When ever he does something my friend considers "gay" he'll tell him loudly in front of customers tell him to "man up" or "get your hands off your hips, young man". I gave an awkward chuckle while they bust a gut laughing.

Basically, one hand I feel guilty for not standing up for myself. On the other I feel guilty from the internalized homophobia I have from being raised Baptist(I'm an atheist now, not saying you can't be LGBT and Christian btw) for most of my life. I literally know one other person who's like me, but he's moved although we keep in contact semi-regularly. Sorry for the ramble. This turned out a lot longer than I expected. Thank you for taking the time to read this and give me advice.