Growli,
I don't often comment on your threads, but something struck me in this one and I just wanted to put something forth. I can see how the d/s relationship would be appealing to you, and I bet your LC would as well. You seem to desperately want someone to take care of you...to tell you what to do and when and how to do it. In that respect, I can see how being submissive would be oh so appealing. For such a relationship to work, though, there has to be a huge amount of trust between partners, and I question whether you can have that level of trust without addressing some of your deeper issues first. You can't even trust your LC a lot of the time.

Also, as JustShakey noted, the sub in such a relationship actually has most of the power and control...which it sounds like you don't want. It might be a good experience for you to be in control of things in such an environment. ..getting the chance to stop things, because in your history you didn't have that chance...but I'm not sure you would exercise that control, which would defeat the purpose.