I was just talking to someone about this earlier. The sub in a healthy D/s relationship absolutely is the Dom because ultimately, I need to be the one to set the boundaries in the relationship. I need to be the one to limit him and tell him if it's too much. You could interpret that as being a Dom, but I want to be the one receiving the pain and bondage and acting under the guise of submission. I don't want just any Dom who thinks he is god's gift to subs. I want a man who ultimately respects me and my limits and will be extremely attuned to my body language and prioritize my psychological and physical well being above his sexual pleasure regardless of what the scene is pretending.

I have put a lot of thought into this and I'm not trying to delude myself into asking for a relationship where I am literally a slave to a man's every wish and fantasy. I want a relationship with a mature and good Dom who will play the part very well and very fully but ultimately regard communication above everything else. I think that when LCM wondered if I was trying to pretend I was a sub, she didn't know that I fully understand that the D/s dynamic is completely geared and measured by the sub's limits.