Quote:
Originally Posted by growlithing
People who do partake in BDSM in healthy relationships deal with this by comforting each other and being affectionate after sex. The Dom reminds the sub that s/he loves him/her and everything they said during the sex was just acting and they do in fact value the sub deeply.
I don't know if there is a way for you to remind yourself and comfort yourself after sexual stuff or not. I know this is an automatic response and it's really hard. But maybe the way BDSM people handle the sub drop phenomenon could help your situation somehow
|
I was actually working on something much like this when I was in therapy. My T called it 'thought stopping' I.E. really, really concentrating on pushing back the involuntary irrational thoughts and feeling of self-hatred, guilt, fear, and shame and trying hard to break through all of that and focus on telling myself that I have done absolutely nothing wrong and shouldn't be feeling bad at all.
It doesn't always work all that well and honestly it's hard for me to try al that hard now that I'm no longer in therapy (I can't afford it any longer sadly) but when it does work it's quite helpful.
It's never easy though. Trying to tell myself I shouldn't feel bad about sex at times feels like I'm trying to tell myself the sky isn't blue.