i would say i am a remote schizoid except for drifting aimlessly. three words to describe myself are solitary anxious and creative. i really dont know when the onset was. t seems to think it is the result of my other diagnoses. i had a friend who used to call me spock because of my lack of understanding of romantic ****. today people see me as funny intelligent and compassionate and a loner. i find the most difficult thing is not being able to attach to people, not caring enought to nurture relationships. they just dont matter to me. i feel guilty admitting that if i go a year without hearing from my children i still wouldnt make that effort to pick up the phone. i wouldnt even notice. i think the biggest advantage is even though i am alone and isolated due to my agoraphobia, i never feel lonely because i dont care about human contact. i contradict the diagnosis because i have a desire to have relationships deep down. my job also contradicts it because i am a social worker and have much compassion for the people i help. it just doesnt matter to me if i never see them again when they walk out the door. i didnt care one way or another about conformity, individuality. i dont care one way or another about a lot of things. i want to improve in the area of relationships. i want to have them. and i do my best not to get angry so i dont reach the point of table flipping.