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growlithing
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Member Since: May 2013
Location: Boston
Posts: 2,608
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Default Mar 09, 2015 at 09:08 PM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966 View Post
I would probably try to date people who aren't s/m first maybe even have sex and then proceed with s/m? I am not sure about your first contact being s/m? Be careful regardless what you decide to do

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My point isn't that I'm looking for an immediate answer to this. Issues like that are just something that has been seriously bothering me for a very very long time.

LCM asked me over a year ago while I was still in patient if I was bisexual. I said that I am not but that I believe sexuality is fluid and that I would be accepting of myself if I did meet a woman I was attracted to. I asked her why and she said that I seem sexually "scattered" to her because I was pretty sexually overt in groups but "not towards anything specific". Still not sure what she means by that. But I am sexually scattered. I dream of very "violent" sex but am so afraid sex in general. I don't know how much I want to carry outside of the bedroom. I inflict pain on myself and I love it, but then I feel so guilty for it. I'm not making any immediate choices concerning what type of relationship I want to start out with and in what context I want to lose my virginity, but I do think I need to start talking about all of this before I end up in a bad situation.
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Thanks for this!
Bill3