Crazyfellow,
Your feelings are likely more common that most people admit to. There are a lot of things to admire about women. I too find just about everything about women to be attractive, and I don't really mean just in the sense of appearances. When I see a beautiful woman I find myself a bit jealous that she was lucky enough to be a woman.

I felt for many years that I would have done better in my life as a woman. My personality and demeanor is closer to that of a woman...my sexuality (as bisexual) is much more accepted for women than men, and I truly find women's clothing (from lingerie to dresses) amazing. But I am satisfied enough with being a man that I see no reason to become a woman, let alone act or dress as one.

Now I know that not everyone is the same, so like CANDC and kaliope have recommended you need to find where the balance in being the "real you" is. Many people have written about their experiences transitioning, some good, some bad...but in all cases...long. I think we can all agree that one can't just wake up one Monday morning and say I'd rather be a women and by the end of the week be one physically. I like CANDC's idea of starting by expressing women's traits...something you can do without seeing a doctor, or dressing as a women, or even leaving your home. If you feel comfortable with that over a long period, then perhaps you can do more.

Ultimately you should look into finding a therapist which deals with gender identify to help to understand your feelings and guide you through the potential changes in your life.

Like I said before, you need to find the balance in your life. For me it's just accepting that life could have been better as a woman, but for you it could be anywhere along the spectrum from denial to complete transition/transformation.

Good luck and be safe.