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growlithing
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Member Since: May 2013
Location: Boston
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Default Mar 11, 2015 at 07:07 AM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by SkyscraperMeow View Post
You probably won't appreciate this input, but I have to give it.


1. There's nothing wrong with your desires.


2. BUT. Those desires *will* put you at significant risk of being used and abused under the guise of BDSM. People who come to BDSM with pre-existing emotional issues are the equivalent of a bleeding antelope in the middle of the Savannah.


Think about it for a second. What sort of person is likely to be attracted to spanking, biting, humiliating, striking, etc, another person? Tops / dominants are often sadists. Some of them are sane, but a lot are not. There are a significant number of 'tops' out there who seek out people who are basically bleeding on the inside and seek to make them bleed on the outside.


So I would caution you to please, please wait to explore this until you are absolutely certain that you are centered within yourself because unless you are, you will almost certainly be hurt in a way you will never come back from.


I have seen it happen many, many times. Therapy can be damaging with the wrong therapist. BDSM is the same, but even more intensely magnified.


BDSM is not a place to find security or safety or being taken care of. Under ideal circumstances, yes, you will find those things, but coming to it from a place of extreme need is a surefire way to get hurt.

This may surprise you, but I actually agree with you. Completely. Except that I don't think that all sexual sadists are evil or not "sane". I think there is a spectrum, but that a "true" sadist would be a truly dangerous person.

And actually, that is the reason why I want to start talking about this to LCM. I do not think that this aspect of myself is ever gonna change and I think if you aren't extremely careful, it can easily blur the line between fun consensual play and extremely dangerous abuse.

I'm not looking to rush into this or be reckless. I just want to be honest with myself about myself and extremely careful.
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