Holly ****! Your therapist is an incompetent. Have you got any possibility to work with another?
I can't give you much insight. I also have a great dependency on people, I have just discovered how strong it is. I'm going to go to therapy for that.

Perhaps it's stupid but the only thing comes to my mind now is trying to see these people in a more realistic way. And trying to set some boundaries that you are not, anyway, to cross.
I'm sorry, I would like to help you bc I hear your pain but...