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starthrower · May 19, 2015 at 05:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Creative ToFu

There are swim pants, would those help cover the scars? There's fine line in telling them just enough info. Most kids I know would see a scar, and ask what happened, thinking there was an accident or something. Usually any answer would work and they wouldn't ask more than that because they are moving onto their next thing already. One guy I know has a stab wound on this chest and when a kid I know asked him what happened, he told them he fell on a worm. Everyone laughed and they didn't ask anymore about it. I would be curious what the mom wants to do with this. Older kids would be able to handle the depth of it, but younger ones, it would depend on their maturity. As my kids have gotten older, they are 19 and 20 now, I have added more info about my past child abuse and why I act the way I do because of PTSD. It was gradual thing. If they saw me crying at around 13, I would say I was just sad and it didn't have anything to do with them. (they do worry, even at a young age. Now if they ask, I tell them I had a hard night with flashbacks and am feeling emotional. I am always honest, but only give them enough info that they need for their age.
Good luck! You sound like such a great guy, they are lucky to have a friend like you who cares.

Swim shorts are a really good idea, will look into that for next time... I don't want to have to keep making excuses, and I know they'd love me to go swimming with them (the younger one was really disappointed when I didn't go last time). I think the older one would handle it OK, he's really mature for his age and seems to understand a lot, but I wouldn't want to tell him too much because he kind of looks up to me and I don't want to upset him. I think the younger one is still a bit young. They both understand that I get anxious and are fine with it though, which is amazing. And they don't pressure me to eat more 'normal' food, although I know the younger one would like it if I did because sometimes he says he'd like me to eat pizza or something. Which I would love to be able to do with them, definitely something to work towards. I'd never lie to them though. Their mum is amazing and really understands, and I've said to the older one that he can ask her if he has any questions, but I don't think she'd say anything if I hadn't already. She's relatively open with them about most things so I don't think she'd mind, but I don't want to ruin the relationship with them or for them to think differently of me. Once they're teenagers, I think it'll be different though and might have to be more open with them. So hard with kids! I want to be honest/fair with them but don't want to upset them or make them uncomfortable.