Quote:
Originally Posted by lizardlady
Nurse343, I'm glad you are putting your grandson's needs first. I believe your concern that he might feel abandoned again if you send him to live with his father are legitimate. He's lived with you his entire life. In his mind you and your husband are his parents. How much contact has your grandson had with your son? If not much, he would be like a stranger to your grandson. How does your grandson respond to your son? Have they bonded at all? Maybe you could try some short (a few hours, not a whole weekend) trial visits if they have not spent much time together.
I'm going to be very blunt. Just because someone gives sperm or and egg to create a child does not make them a parent. The people who are there every day, loving and nurturing the child are the true parents in my opinion.
One last thought, if DHS gave you permanent custody you might have to go through them to give custody to your son.
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Thank you very much yes he has to go back to family court to change custody but it is up to me i have permanant custody from DHS ie i say when where why and how he lives with who he visits. He has had contact and went to visit him in community corrections but he doesn't for instance cry when he leaves my son and comes with me but he sometimes gets upset when i leave him with others. when i pick him up from daycare he hears the door and screams is it my nana is it my nana. He loves spending time with my son and his new wife who is pregnant herself but a lovely person, but is always bursting with excitement when they bring him back. We worked up to weekend visits but he keeps pushing for more and the problem i have is he works Mon- Friday 630 am to 6 pm somethimes so she would be raising him and well frankly she is not his mom. I feel selfish but i love him as much as my own children that i gave birth too. I tried expaining this to them about abandonment and psychological effects of separation from your primary care taker. this weekend was two weekends in a row i drove him Thiry miles for my son to pick up and he started crying and said he didn't wanna go that he wanted to go to my house to sleep. He said " i already been there long time". so i told my son sorry but i think he is pushing it a little hard. So i told him every other weekend. For now and i tried to inform him that if he had custody he would have to deal with the DIL his ex for all her visits phone calls etc.