"What I wanted to say though- was that there is always a chance that things can improve."

That's the part that kills me. I did really well for a year. Now I've opened @#$#$ Pandora's box of horrific traumas and I'm a mess. Tonight I've eaten beyond what I should, tho not binged or purged, but what I really want to do is hurt myself. I am so disgusted by myself. My anxiety is so high righgt now that purging seems mild compared to what I want to do. The only thing keeping me sane right now is I have 3 pets asleep on the couch next to me, and I don't want to distrub thhem. How sick is that. I care way more about them than I do me.

Murderous feelings. LoVVE that.

Sorry typing and thinking are all over the place. Trying to remain calm.

Failed at being calm. Better luck next time. Need another rule about htat I geuss.