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Old 11-30-2015, 10:43 PM
yagr yagr is offline
Member Since: Nov 2015
Location: spokane
Posts: 1,409
yagr yagr is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2015
Location: spokane
Posts: 1,409

3 yr Member
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Default I believe that I've been misdiagnosed

I'm probably the first person to think this, eh?

I would be interested in thoughts and/or suggestions from other members regarding my recent diagnosis. In order to facilitate this, let me give you a bit of background and then my objections. I'll go through the modified SIS.

I am a fifty year old man with no documented history of psychiatric issues. I'm not suggesting that I've been issue free throughout my life, but I've not seen a psychiatrist before. My introduction into the mental health system was facilitated (re: referred) by my primary care physician after he watched me fall into a severe depression after being diagnosed with a number of very serious and untreatable health issues which caused me to become completely disabled, unable to work and fall into abject poverty.

I am a recovered addict with twenty-three years clean and sober. I also suffered from severe combat related PTSD at one point but have successfully dealt with it and have been nightmare and the associated anxiety free for over twenty years.

Which is not to say that I'm 'normal'.

I am extraordinarily skilled socially - but I loath it. Aside from my wife, to whom I am still, thirty years later, head over heels in love with, I am a loner. I should mention that I speak with my father every day over the phone. Typically short phone calls, but I call him to tell him that I love him. So, it's fair to say that I am introverted.

Regarding sensitivity: I am a practicing Buddhist for thirty-seven years and pretty much accept everyone as they are. What you think of me is none of my business. I take no offense at anything - just about everything is 'water off a duck's back' to me. I am comfortable with who I am so whether you deem me to be a saint or a demon really makes no difference.

Anger: For most of my life, I very rarely if ever got angry. Lately, for perhaps the last three years or so, the constant chronic pain along with my growing impatience with SSDI after three and a half years and not being able to care for my wife and I financially has gotten to me and I've struggled with it a bit. Nothing physical, just the occasional biting remark about this 'no good system' or the 'gd pain' - no personal attacks towards anyone verbally or physically.

Social Anxiety: As I said, I loath social situations, but I am very competent socially. I am usually the life of the party (though I don't actually go to parties - perhaps the life of the cookout). I am popular at such gatherings and so I get a lot of invitations that I look for ways to avoid because frankly, it seems too much like work. People like me and want me around; they want to confide in me, they ask for my advice, etc.

Being watched: No, never occurred to me - except when I place myself at the center of attention, but then it is expected. The only time I feel that people are talking about me is in appropriate situations. i.e. I am an author. If I am at someplace where people have read my book, then yes, I expect that there is probably some discussion about me being the guy that wrote that book.

Suspiciousness: In my opinion, all people are capable of 'good' and 'bad' - though as a Buddhist, the whole discussion of good and bad is a bit of a non sequitur. I am aware of the capabilities of people - but look for the good.

Pathological Jealousy: Not certain that I've ever felt jealousy.

Restricted emotion: I never miss an opportunity to tell my wife I love her and I call my father every day for the same reason. I am physically demonstrative (hugs, kisses, etc.). I am also tremendously empathetic. I will cry at commercials, Disney movies, Nicholas Sparks movies require two boxes of tissues at minimum. I have the whole Buddhist equanimity thing going - so perhaps serenity instead of jumping up and down in jubilation or throwing things in anger but my religious practice is not a disorder.

Magical thinking: This is a key issue for my psychiatrist and therapist upon which this diagnosis is based (I believe). I think they believe that I think I have special powers of discernment. Here's the thing though (and they know this) I've written a book on body language that got me an invite to speak to a group from the FBI. I've given hundreds of paid lectures on the subject. My skills are world class. Of course I see things that others don't - but not because of some magical ability but a learned skill set that anyone can learn with the proper training.

Illusions: I have had audio hallucinations during the past year. For three years I have been begging my doctor for pain relief but live in a state in which it is illegal for a doctor to prescribe narcotics for chronic pain (because of the fear of addiction). I have seven such conditions. Eventually, I could no longer sleep. Go long enough without sleep and guess what happens?

Psychotic like phenomena: Well, muddled thinking recently, which can easily be a consequence of sleep deprivation. Other than that - no.

Sexual anhedonia: I have no problems with sex.

My psychiatrist and therapist have made their conclusion without tests incidentally and because of my current disability claim, it may be damaging to jump ship with these folks and seek another doctor at this time. On the other hand, I'm not prepared to take anti-psychotics which are being prescribed either. Help.
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