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solita1
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Member Since Aug 2015
Location: uk
Posts: 38
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Default Dec 18, 2015 at 09:07 AM
 
hi, thanks for the replies. I really appreciate them. It is possible that my paranoia is linked to anxiety, I had never really thought about that. Obviously I know the chances of there being some kind of secret society out to get me is very highly unlikely but sometimes my mind cant stop seeing patterns in people's behaviour.

Today for example I was at a cafe and a guy cross the road with an ipad in his hand, he wasnt looking at it though, he had it tilted sideways so the screen was facing me. As soon as I saw this my mind started thinking that he was recording me, that he was holding it that way to record me from a distance. However, normally with an ipad to record you need to use the other side with the camera, however I kept thinking he was holding it like that the record me, and then he looked in my direction which further confirmed this. In the moment when things like this happen I think everything is a set up but obviously as I type this I know it isnt likely, but it is still something nagging in my mind.

Is this anxiety or paranoia? Everyday there are thinkgs like this which my mind reads into and gets carried away. Deep down though I know it it probably isnt true. I might have some form of OCD too, as a child I had some weird behaviours.

Constantly seeing threats in things might be linked to when I was a teenager and was beaten up, I also used to get people phoning me telling me they were gona beat me up, just teenagers being stupid but I used to worry a lot then and it may be the reason why I get paranoid now.

Obviously the paranoia affects my life but I have held down jobs, studies, relationships and people like to be around me. I am not suspicious of anyone close to me - just strangers. I also used to think my phone was tapped.
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